Monday, December 28, 2009

Upcoming 2010 films and how Jim feels about them,

I like to make stupid lists...Here is the following:

15 movies I am looking forward to in 2010 and why (in no particular order)

  1. Iron Man 2 - Are you kidding me? Worship Downey Jr. WORSHIP HIM!!!
  2. Clash of the Titans - Looks like a fine remake. Trailers is great, and Neeson is Zeus. Noff said.
  3. Harry Potter 7/1 - Yep, I enjoyed the books and I like the films. Call me a sheep. Bah..
  4. Kick @$$ - Looks like and incredible amount of fun.
  5. Daybreakers - Killing Vampires who don't sparkle...Thank you.
  6. Tron Legacy - It's got Bridges and Boxleitner. I'm there!
  7. Legion - Bettany as a Angel...Did you need a futher explantion?
  8. The A-Team - Really clever cast and a mindless enough property to provide a good blank slate for a story.
  9. Jonah Hex - Good Comic + gnarly concept + Brolin = fine movie.
  10. The Expendables - Greatest action cast ever...
  11. Priest - Bettany fighting evil - See #7.
  12. The Sorcerer's Apprentice - Cool Trailer. Even Cage looks like he is having fun.
  13. Rapunzel - Disney seems to be back on the traditional animation train. So am I.
  14. B!tch Slap - Just awesome...
  15. Shutter Island - Scorsese. I am a fan.

15 movies that should just die in 2010 and why (in no particular order):

  1. Tooth Fairy - Oh, Rock. Go back to wrestling...please!!!
  2. Cop Out - I know, it's Kevin Smith. I should be bowing at it's alter. The trailer is completely uninspiring. This movie will blow.
  3. Alice in Wonderland - My antipathy for Tim Burton's later work is well know. If I have to hear that this is perfect Burton material one more time, I swear I'm gonna... Let me say, the Mad Hatter is NOT a central character in Alice in Wonderland, but appears to be in this film. Tim, if you have such a hard on for Depp, just have him play Alice. Not that's a movie I'd go see!
  4. The Runaways - The broad from Twilight (Kristin Stewart) is, without a doubt, the least convincing, laziest actress I have seen on film since Kirsten Dunst in Spider man 2 and 3, and at least Kirsten looked stoned. This broad just looks horribly vapid and deserving of midget porn.
  5. Tyler Perry's Why did I get Married Too - Just pry my eyes out with a fork right now. Do people of color really think this guy is funny!?!?!
  6. Shrek Forever After - really? I just don't see why another one is necessary. But then again, I didn't see why the first sequel was necessary either.
  7. Sex and the City 2 - Gays and put upon ladies, unite against this film!!! They are trying to cater to your lowest common denominator. You are better than this drek!
  8. Marmaduke - Why does Marmaduke talk in this film?
  9. Twilght: Eclipse - See #4 for my opinion on Kristen Stewart. Add Robert Pattinson, the worst source material on earth, and inept directing, and you get the teen sensation of the moment. Go I can't wait until this series ends and is forgotten. I can only dread what the vapid tween market will embrace next...
  10. Little Fockers - Die, just die...
  11. The Karate Kid - If they called this the Kung Fu kid, and marketed it as it's own film instead of a remake, possibly citing inspiration from the original, maybe I'd be OK with this.
  12. Killers - Kutcher + Heigl = Kill me
  13. Saw VII 3D - Didn't the killer die like four movies ago???
  14. Jackass 3D - Somethings don't need theatrical releases, or 3D.
  15. Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Undead - Enough with the freakin' Zombies, already!

15 movies that I could care less about in 2010 and why (in no particular order):

  1. Green Hornet - I like Seth Rogen. I like Kung Fu. I could care less about Green Hornet.
  2. Book of Eli - Beat em up, Denzel!!! Looks like The Road with Kung Fu.
  3. The Wolfman - This movie has been in development so long, that I have completely lost interest at this point.
  4. Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps - Another example of a movie that doesn't really need a sequel.
  5. A Nightmare on Elm Street - I like Jackie Earle Haley. This will probably be good, It may even end up in my NetFlix cue, but I am not clamouring for it.
  6. Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief - I have absoultely no connection to this source material, although my wife says it's fun.
  7. The Last Airbender - I also have no connection to this property. Trailer looks cool.
  8. Predators - I am so burned on this series that normally it would end up on the list above. But Robert Rodriguez is involved in the production of this films, so there might be hope.
  9. Red Dawn - Another needless remake.
  10. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time - Believe or not, I have never played this game.
  11. Narnia: Dawn Treader - The preceding movies were meh. This should be as well.
  12. Death at a Funeral (2010) - Didn't Frank Oz make this movie in 2007? WTF?
  13. Knight and Day - I am a Thomas Cruise Maporther IV fan. I admit it openly. I don't give a damn if he is crazy. I don't give a damn if his wife is a Scientologist comfort woman. I also don't give a damn about this movie.
  14. Dinner for Schmucks - I know nothing about this film. But it's called Dinner for Schmucks. It must be on this list.
  15. Hairspray 2 - Sure, make a sequel. Who cares? I give up...

Your comments are appreciated...

4 comments:

I'm Jon, just a guy. I try to smell good. said...

"Death at a Funeral (2010) - Didn't Frank Oz make this movie in 2007? WTF?"
He did and it's his BEST film... So naturally we (Americans) have to take a small (and sucessful) British film and butcher it for our dumbed down audiences...
I noticed about 1/2+ of the movies were sequels/re-makes/and new versions of other media...
I'm done with big Hollywood. On that list there is not one single movie I would other going to see opening weekend. As Crazy Bale said;
Hollywood and I are done, professionally...

I'm gonna save my money and brain for smaller films in 2010, and even more, for the films I want to make!

I'm Jon, just a guy. I try to smell good. said...

Actually... I might go see the A-Team, but only if I do schrooms first...

Test Papers said...

My choice is Narnia: Dawn Treader.
Test Questions

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